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babyangel34
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Name: Candace
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 3/4/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: God, church, karate, other sports, leisure reading (though i never get to do it =( )...sleep...
Expertise: learning how little i know...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
9/21/2002
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| I've decided to give myself things to look forward to each month to help the months fly by...we'll see if I remember to do this next month.
My two big things to look forward to this month are:
- Brad Paisley concert with SCHS girls
- STEEP's first meeting
Good times | | |
| since high school...the idea of living an abundant life has been something that has been an underlying current in my thoughts on faith and life...
recently, with all the travelling and school starting...I have to admit, my QT's and time really spent praying, meditating, and just thinking about God have been few and far between. I've let business run my life (even when the busyness is sending people off on missions and fellowshipping)...
Anyways, today during my QT, it was like God spoke a whole sermon to me, and it all came out into my journal. Little hints and ideas of it have been brewing in my mind over the past few weeks and in the few QT's I've done recently. But it all seemed to come together today in my thoughts...and here's what it sounded like:
"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it." - Matthew 11:12
God was among them, but they had trouble seeing that. (This is in the context of Matthew 11 where John's disciples ask Jesus if he's THE ONE.) The kingdom of heaven is advancing. Will you lay hold of it?
We live in exciting times, yet so often and so easily we feel that life is mundane. I believe there are two main reasons for this:
1) We believe that God is already here.
2) We believe that God is NOT here.
1) We believe that God is already here.
So often, in our church communities, we surround ourselves with like-minded people--other believers. This is great because it's important for the body of Christ to build one another up, and to be an example of Christ's love.
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:35
The danger is, we so often become so completely enveloped in our Christian community that we forget that there are people outside the walls of our church who still need to know God. We are part of the church "bubble."
2) We believe that God is NOT here.
Even while we believe that God is here, we can simultaneously believe that God is not working among us. We see the sin and depravity of the world and the brokeness around us. We see how those around us, even our friends adamantly refuse and reject the idea of a Christian God; how people are turned off by Christianity/faith/the Gospel; how people laugh at the Gospel and Christians, and we become dejected and wonder if God can/will ever really send revival here...to Fremont, CA...
We go on missions and see that, yes, God is working THERE. We go to serve the homeless in San Jose, and see that God is working even THERE. Yet in our daily lives, where is God? Is He ever going to be HERE?
Yes, of course He is.
Jesus's call to make disciples of all nations was: "...you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." - Acts 1:8
So often we focus on "the ends of the earth" because for those of us who are not called to long term missions (which is a whole other ball game and I have tons of respect to those who are called and heed that call), it is so much easier to think about God working through us overseas for two weeks, than it is to think of Him working DAILY in our lives. For those who have been on short term missions, you know the rush of the experience, the "spiritual high," the sense that, yes, God is working. You also know the slow drain as you return to work and your daily life...and the return of the question, "Why isn't God performing miracles here?"
Even Judea and Samaria seem exciting in the sense that you feel the kingdom work being done. When STEEP (my small group) goes to downtown San Jose to hang out with the homeless, I always come back with a sense of, "Wow, God is working in the midst of that community."
Yet, I believe STEEP was founded with more than just a Saturday "spiritual high" in mind (although, I was not there for it's beginning). Our vision statement says to steep Jesus in our LIVES. 99% of our lives is not spent in downtown San Jose serving the homeless or in Mexico or Cambodia on missions.
But just because we aren't serving the poor in a 3rd world country, doesn't mean our lives have to be mundane. Jesus first mentions Jerusalem. Where/what is Jerusalem? Jerusalem is my dad, who still is not a believer. Jerusalem is my coworkers, my friends, my students. And God is in the midst. I do not believe He would call us somewhere He is not working. And yet even though He is working here, there is still much work to be done. We can't just stay holed up in church and expect people to come and find God on their own.
That being said, why have I not lived my life like this?
1) Fear - Lack of faith
While my head knows these things, my heart does not fully trust God or His promises. I've seen people totally turned off by Christianity/faith/anything to do with religion, people who are adamantly against the Gospel, or what they think the Gospel is...and it makes me wonder: "What's the point in sharing when they'll just reject it anyways?"
I forget that it is God who is working in hearts, and that my job is just to share in my WORDS and DEEDS. It's also easy to just say I'll share only with my deeds, while being afraid to do the tough job of actually SPEAKING truth.
2) Selfishness - Lack of love
If I truly believe what I say I believe, then the Gospel is the most precious news in the whole world. It's the most precious and life-saving thing anyone could ever hear.
Yet, today so much is made about being PC and tolerant. If you share your faith, you're in danger of being labelled "preachy," "goody goody," or even worse "hypocrite" and "bigot." (Ironically, I hesitated to post this because of what people might think or who I might offend.)
So to save my own "reputation," I hide the most important thing in my life. I hide the life-saving, life-giving news...I am selfish.
Another way of seeing it is: I love myself and my reputation more than I love the people around me (and more than I love God for that matter...since I value my reputation more than His Will). Because if I really love the people around me and I really believe that Jesus is the one and only way to salvation, then wouldn't I be willing to set aside my fear for my own reputation and just share my faith, even if it means I'll be rejected and lose friends? Even if some decided not to be my friend and many decided not to believe, won't seeds be planted?...and maybe someone might even believe.
God would leave the 99 for the 1. Will I?
God, I want to. I want to live a life of abundance. I used to think that maybe I had to go overseas to find it, but I'm starting to think You're calling me to be right HERE. You're reminding me that the kingdom is advancing right before my eyes and that these ARE exciting times.
Give me the faith and the courage and the LOVE to lay hold of the kingdom and your promises. God, open my eyes. Let me be your witness.
"...the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it." - Matthew 11:12 | | |
| I am all travelled out...ready to be at home.
Too bad I'm ready to be at home and curl up with a good book. Especially since school starts in just one week! I should be planning, but all I can do is sit around and read. I don't even wanna go out with people despite the fact that I already have multiple commitments. I just want to be lazy.
So much for being prepared for the coming school year.
Ugh...I'm in hermit mode right now. People = drama...and drama is not what I need in my life now...or ever... | | |
| Hanging out with STEEP and friends last night confirmed how much I miss people. As fun as adventuring to other countries has been, I feel like I've been living in a shell with just me and my mom for whole month. | | |
| every day...i wind up only doing one to two things off my to-do list...this is mainly because my 1-hour afternoon nap usually becomes a 3 to 5 hour nap...at least i woke up in time for dinner today...
tomorrow...i'm making a trip to REI...and will probably spend a lot of money...*sigh*...my wallet is mad at me right now...
also...to cheer myself up since I'm not going on the half dome night hike...i decided to start planning my vacations for next year...
since I traveled the world this year (three continents other than N. America)...i told my mom that i'd try to stay within the U.S. next year...so unless there are really cheap tickets to australia/new zealand...i'll be sticking around...
i'm thinking hawaii or a caribbean cruise (close enough to the U.S.) for february break...
summer plans/goals:
- hike half dome (during the day to reassure myself i can)
- half dome night hike (since i'm not doing it this year)
- mt. whitney
- U.S. roadtrip...I've always wanted to do this, so next year seems the perfect opportunity...need to add some states to my collection...
let me know if you want to join in on the fun...especially the half dome night hike or U.S. roadtrip since I can't really do either of those on my own...well i suppose I could roadtrip on my own...but it wouldn't be as fun...
know it's early to be thinking about these things...but it's one of my joys as a teacher to plan vacations for myself...it keeps me sane... | | |
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